Latest Tweets:

theriu:

only-tiktoks:

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THE “STEP LADDER” JOKE AHAHAHA

(via diet-drpenis)

blowjob-bandit:

unhiprainicornn:

the-quasar-hero:

schakira:

the-quasar-hero:

schakira:

the-quasar-hero:

schakira:

the-quasar-hero:

It’s SO obvious that some of y’all are incredibly mad that my wizard hat is bigger and supremely balanced.

okay… i can still see the folds on your wizard robe… iron it.

Now I know you ain’t talking with ya dusty ass grimoire. That bad boy is held together with scotch tape, spit, and faith. Helpful hint: you want the spines of your enemies to break, not your magical tomes.

no cause it’s really cute hearing that from you when last i checked your grimoire isn’t being passed down from generation to generation. i know you got it from walmart with your dollar store lookin ass staff. you can keep your hint.

I just think it’s funny you think anything that isn’t dusted and busted like your grimoire is somehow less authentic, when the reality is you a broke ass wizard who can’t get your coin up! You gotta use hand-me-downs cuz no king wants to make use of your services! Maybe you should dress like this isn’t the third century and ppl would visit your sad lil’ wizard tower. Your grimoire so old I bet that shit got spells to deal with dinosaurs. I got a spell in mine to make wifi anywhere. Oh, and I know you ain’t talking about staffs when you carry around that plywood looking ass shit. You tryna conjure forth a Home Depot employee?

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you scroll-stuffing spell stealing nasty little SLUT

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Nuh-uh, bitch, try again.

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Lmaoooo. I’m here for this.

crunchbuttsteak:

lookingforsarahjay:

crunchbuttsteak:

If I had a nickel for every big name Harry Potter fanfic writer who started their own cult, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice.

Oh man, are we talking about Snape wives?? I because every time I remember them I just have to stare off into the distance for a while.

I’d have three nickels.

(via eyes0fthestorm)

datleggy:

me, on my posts: *writes as little info as humanly possible* 

me, in the tags: so anyway, all my problems started on a hot summer day in the late 90′s, when i was born… 

(via startedraining)

valammar:

valammar:

valammar:

my mom is 61 and her bf is a huge nerd and he’s teaching her to play magic the gathering and he had her watch avatar the last airbender with him and his ringtone is terra’s theme from final fantasy 6 and he paints pictures of sephiroth. my mom’s bf is nerdier than i’ll ever be.

and she does all these pinterest crafts and now she makes little bejeweled vials of healing potions for him and his buddies. my little geek heart can’t handle all this.

edit: just picture a 60-something woman with a VERY thick minnesotan accent saying “mike is having me watch the naruto”

just fyi my mom is now 62 and they finished watching “the naruto”

if i had told my 13-year-old self that this is what my mom’s hallway would look like when i was 30 i wouldn’t have believed me


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(via ejacutastic)

dirtbaby2016:

dirtbaby2016:

its dj erectile disfunction on the beat

making sure yall go hard even though i cant

(via ejacutastic)

witchesversuspatriarchy:
“Not a comprehensive list, but it’s a solid starting point.
”

witchesversuspatriarchy:

Not a comprehensive list, but it’s a solid starting point.

(via ts-1989)

niijima:
“misfit-toy-haven:
“why is this more expressive than the entire lion king cgi movie
” ”

niijima:

misfit-toy-haven:

why is this more expressive than the entire lion king cgi movie

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(via startedraining)

captain-suggestions:

linguisticparadox:

ebaybears:

Jellycat designer 1: We need more sealife toys
Jellycat designer 2: Actually I have an idea for a floral shark -
Jellycat designer 1: we need clams.
Jellycat designer 2: Sorry?
Jellycat designer 1:

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Jellycat designer 2: I think-

Jellycat designer 1:

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Jellycat designer 2: I don’t -

Jellycat designer 1:

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NO THEY’RE PERFECT

I love them 💞

(via startedraining)